Performance Review: Survivor

everything on the job portal, get through the interview, then negotiate. Take the offer, clock back in.Meet Your CoworkersInterns, Micromanagers, The Office Bros, Cold Callers, Consultants, HR and more, all walking toward your cubicle. And at the top of the org chart, the ones we're really doing this for.Features30-minute careers: 30 years, one per minute, then a 401(k) retirement projection25 weapons, including evolutions, plus 25 desk trinkets to build around20+ coworker types and boss encountersCompany policies that change every run, plus hidden career challengesFired/Hired minigames: job portal, interview, salary elevatorWater coolers that relocate around the floor that allow you to vent, heal and give damage buffsNOW HIRING: Senior Entry-Level Productivity Survival Analyst IIShareholder First Company Solutions is seeking a highly motivated self-starter who understands that "work-life balance" is a competitor's myth.Responsibilities: maintain control of your cubicle during high-energy team-building events · upgrade company-approved productivity tools · survive the Annual Performance Review · ability to lift 50 lbsBenefits: after-life 401K planning · plentiful team-building opportunities · the slow erosion of self · dentalApplications accepted via fax only. Orientation starts immediately upon submission.