Just a Normal Porcini Hunt

mushrooms.SPOILER: I still wasn’t. 😂There are porcini.There’s a forest.You have a basket.And for a while, everything will seem perfectly normal.For a while. 😬Also, people in these woods are very protective of their porcini.Sometimes a polite chat is enough. Sometimes it takes a punch. 👊And if walking feels too slow, there’s a wild boar who can be persuaded to give you a ride. For a modest fee. In porcini. 🐗One last thing: if something looks aesthetically questionable, it probably is.But someone will still manage to appreciate it.After all, that’s the same hope you have... 😉WHAT’S IN THE WOODS (OUR LAWYER SAID NOT TO WRITE THIS)A procedurally generated forest, different every hunt. So when you get lost, it’s a brand-new kind of lost.Real clues: moss, ferns, the right trees. Fake clues: anything the Fish Man says.Locals who would die for their porcini. Or at least take a punch for them. Whatever falls out is legally yours. (It is not.)A forest ranger who wants your mushroom permit. Show it, bribe the ranger, run, or climb a tree and wait for the problem to forget about you. Bribed rangers remember you. Fondly.A boar that gives rides. No saddle. No brakes. No dignity. Payment in porcini, upfront.Rain, fog, night and the occasional shower of porcini from the sky. Meteorologists are baffled. We’re not, we coded it.A porcino taller than you. Size matters. Sorry.Play as a muscle man, a doll or a banana. Then unlock worse. Including the person responsible for all this.Hard mode: poisonous lookalikes sneak into your basket. Eat responsibly. Or don’t, it’s a video game.Overheard in the woods: “Fish detected. Filleting not required.” · “I came for the mushrooms. I stayed for the cardio.” · “Warranty… void…”Mushroom ecology is simplified. Do not use this game to identify real mushrooms. Hospitals already have enough paperwork.