Hostile Takeover, Inc.

resolve themselves against your hit points.Choose amongst 7 different executives to play as, each with their own unique charm and detriments.Hire from 15 specialized employee towers, including Interns, Engineers, Lawyers, Consultants, Recruiters, Headhunters, and other legally distinct workplace hazards.Manage capital, salaries, promotions, terminations, and the occasional company-wide strike caused by your own payroll decisions.Build offices across five departments to unlock company-wide buffs, grow your Golden Parachute reserves, and paint larger targets on company property.Enjoy Infinite Profits, an endless survival mode allowing the use of absurd gameplay modifiers.Survive encounters from 4 challenging bosses, then choose powerful Board Packet initiatives that may or may not be blessings in disguise.Trigger the final hostile takeover, where three brutal waves attack from concentrated fronts and your surviving offices decide your payout.Executive AuthorityYour CEO is not just a cursor in a suit. Your aura of micromanagement damages enemies, collects loot, and buffs nearby towers, forcing you to choose between safe movement and front-line supervision.Every tower costs capital. Every promotion increases payroll. Every office makes you stronger, richer, and more vulnerable. If your capital drops below zero, your towers go on strike, because even in a satire game, employees demand a steady paycheck.Compensation & BenefitsMegaCorp offers a competitive Golden Parachute package, payable in proportion to your ability to avoid Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.Benefits include:Performance-based capital acquisition.Premium corner offices.36 professional development opportunities, disguised as level-up choices.Board-approved fiscal-year difficulty escalations.A hostile work environment in the most literal possible sense.Preferred QualificationsAble to convert panic into policy.Familiarity with tower defense, survivor-like action, and pretending that layoffs are strategy.Willingness to hover uncomfortably close to your employees until they become measurably more productive.Ability to maintain shareholder confidence while everything around you catches fire.Equal Opportunity StatementMegaCorp Holdings LLC is an equal opportunity employer, in the sense that all applicants will be equally blamed for systemic failure.Apply today!Your desk is ready.Your employees are not.